I Do Not Know.

There, I said it.

Yep, no going back now.

I just admitted for everyone to read, including me, that “I do not know.”

Whew! Wow! Hello Freedom! This picture of me below totally depicts how that makes me feel!

Saying/typing those four little words is a powerful and freeing thing. I once heard it said in a sermon, by Steven Furtick of Elevation Church, that those four words are sometimes the greatest four words of faith and I believe it.

I do not know.

There is deep truth in that statement and I think that there is so much in the world that is unknown, oddly enough perhaps more these days than ever before, that those four words really do say it all. But why is it such a big deal to say/admit/confess those words?

Well, I guess for me, I have always prided myself on my intelligence and on my ability to know and understand things as well as my ability to help others to know and understand. However, I have been learning & growing so much this past year, specifically on how to be OK with the unknown, that I cannot deny everything I thought I knew might just be rubbish.

I used to think I knew it all. YIKES and EWWW! Sorta makes me shudder at the thought now. 🙂 That also begs for me to apologize to everyone I ever hit over the head with my “know-it-all” stick. So, to that end, to all, I am sincerely sorry, please forgive me.

While I may have been learning things over the last 47 years, I fully realized this year that I know less than I ever have known. There is so much more out there to know and I gotta say I am more excited about this discovery that “I know less than I think” than I ever thought possible. That perhaps sounds strange but walk this out with me.

The thing is – No One Knows It All, PERIOD! In fact, I would tell you to quickly walk away from someone who claims to know it all. If they think they know it all, they are simply either delusional or have decided to quit learning in life. They may indeed “know it all” for where they are at but that is because they have made a choice, conscience or not, to Stop Learning or Stop Growing. Neither one of those options is the least bit appealing to me. I don’t EVER want to stop learning or stop growing, thus my “Pamela In Training” blog site title. I will always be learning and growing and hope to continue to with every single breath of my entire life. Growing and Learning is process of life and it is when we stop growing and learning that we start dying. That may sound harsh, but hit pause for a second with me and think about it.

If you have decided that you simply know everything there is to know about your job, your family and God (yikes!) you will begin to die inside. We are beautiful creatures created by God to continue to learn and grow and know, in and through Him. He made us such complex creatures that we can never “know” everything about another person…even if you’ve birthed a now 50 year old person or been married to a person for 50 years. We must continue to learn and grow to know more about our loved ones. It keeps us connected in relationship with them and our love deepens for others as we come to know more about them.

On that same line, you cannot know ALL there is to know about God, He is ineffable. Even if you are a learned Pastor or Teacher that has been studying the scriptures for Lo So Many Years, this statement is as true for you as it is for the New Baby Christian born yesterday. So, if you thought there was a way or a day that you would be able to explain everything about God, I’m guess I’m gonna be bold and burst your bubble.

Knowing ALL about God is Not Possible, period.

If that offends you, I am sorry, sorta, ok, not really. Actually, I truly am not sorry because I can’t be. I have to stand on the side of Truth and Truth IS God and the only one that fully knows Him is His Own Spirit.

Now, I am not saying you can’t know many things about God, and that you shouldn’t want to know many things about God. Just like our human relationships, as we continue to learn and grow and know more about God our love for Him deepens. I do, in fact, hope you do know many things about God. We all absolutely need to know His Character. Not knowing His Character leaves us open to influence from the enemy because he can present ideas/feelings/thoughts that are not from God and unless we know God’s Character we won’t be able to turn those ideas/feelings/thoughts away as evil. Additionally, growing and learning more about God is one of the True Joys of Life! As you grow and learn more, your faith and trust also grow and peace flows from deep within you. That type of Peace is built on a foundation that is truly unshakable.

All that said, I have a confession. I used to think I knew it all (OK, I think I already confessed that, but Hey, it’s Worth Confessing Twice!). I used to think I knew how God worked and how I could garner more favor or work my way into a place where He was happy with me and loved me and would never leave me. I used to have formulas for how to “fix me” (and others). Oh sure, if you had “this particular issue” well then, you just needed to do “Step A, Step B and Step C” then Viola, like magic, you’d be back in God’s good graces and He would start working on your behalf to open doors and make life an easy-peasey walk for you. Yep, just take those steps and earn God’s favor and healing, then your life will become a walk in the park. Moreover, if you simply apply that formula to every single issue you have (faithfully, of course) at some point, you will “arrive” at wholeness. If you keep working at it, you will get yourself through the process someday and be fully worthy of the life God intended you to have in the first place. BUT, you better get that work done first, or you are not worthy or deserving of the life and blessings God has for you.

Hardy-har-har, what a joke! The joke was on me, by me. After trying and striving and fixing myself with formulas and head knowledge I STILL had stuff holding on in my spirit I didn’t like and didn’t understand. Through some amazing Mentors and Teachers God spoke to me to show me the Truth that my striving in my own strength would never get me. I had to STOP Everything and Let God Be God. I honestly had been trying to work my way to a better me, but with flawed theology. (Ha, that rhymed!) The above paragraph may sound over the top, but this year it was revealed to me that that was exactly what I was doing. There are so many things wrong with the above paragraph, its hard to find a place to start. First off, you may not actually speak out those words/ideas I listed as your beliefs but if you think you have to “do ANYthing” to get/keep/earn yourself the favor of God, you are already on the wrong path.

There are many passages that slay that train of thought, not the least of which is Jesus himself declaring from the cross that “It Is Finished.” He didn’t say, “OK, My part is finished, now the rest is up to you.” We don’t have to work to get us into God’s favor. Heck, we don’t even do the ultimate choosing to follow Him, but rather He puts that faith in us. If that last statement hit you wrong, I apologize, and I don’t want to get into a deep theological discussion so agree with me to let that just sit. 🙂

There is one assignment we have and, again, it is direct from the lips of Jesus:

“The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” – John 6:29

We simply believe in Jesus and He does the rest, period – finito – finalo – whatever other made up word with an “o” at the end that I can stick in there. 😉

When we believe in Jesus His Spirit comes to live in us, our former self dies completely and we become ONE with Him. We no longer have to search for Him or work in our own strength to find Him. He is closer to us than anything else, including our clothes, or better said our skin! That is the Greatest Mystery of all time. To find God we must stop searching for Him and just Be Still. How is this possible?

I do not know.

What I do know is this:

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. – Gal 2:20

Jesus Lives In Me!

Jesus Lives Through Me!

God Loves Me!

God is Good!

God is For Me!

Holy Spirit Will Direct My Steps!

Holy Spirit Reveals Knowledge of God to Me!

I do not know how to answer the deep questions, like “why did that person get healed and that person did not?” or “why do bad things happen to good people?” I could certainly dive into the Bible and give you a meager attempt at an explanation, but it would fall flat. Some things, just like God, are inexplainable. So, it takes Faith and Trust to keep walking with Him, standing on the facts listed above and growing to learn more about His character and His love for you.

Now, please don’t hear what I’m not saying, I am not saying don’t read the Bible or don’t walk through old wounds to receive healing from God when He highlights something. What I am saying is let God do the work. It is when we start digging into areas of our lives (and the lives of others) that God is not directing us to that we invite other influence. Hint: that “other influence”, is not a good one….not – even – close. We have the grace to continue to grow and learn more about God and His character and His love for us, but we must do it from a Spirit Led Place ONLY.

This may not make sense to you. You may have to sit and wrestle with these thoughts for awhile. To that I say Good! Sit and Let God Reveal His Truth and Love to you. You may have to “unlearn” years of religious garbage that you’ve been taught. You may have to allow new pathways of thinking to emerge in your spirit. You may need help to do that. I have great news for you, you have a God that loves you and that longs to reveal Himself to you in deeper measure. He will walk with you and He will do the heavy lifting to help you become the unique one of a kind Creation He designed you to be. He wants to reveal Himself to the world THROUGH you, exactly the way He made you to be so He will help you! Wow, that is truly mind-blowing!

I don’t know about you, but I’m thrilled to start 2021 with newly attained 20/20 vision from the knowing that I do not know. Not needing to know the answers gives great freedom. It gives me more opportunity to trust and walk in faith and it takes the burden from me and puts it all on Jesus, which is exactly where it should be. Hmmm, suddenly I feel lighter! 😀

May you know that you don’t have to know and may that give you Great Freedom & Peace!

Here’s to a New Year, Filled with Hope, Trust, Growth and most of all LOVE!

Happy New Year to you and yours!

Love, laughter and blessings,

Pamela